Whr are we

Its been days since we last talked..its been days since i saw u last smile..this has been d longest silence we had ever since we knew each other 6 years back.

I guess u must haf felt d difference in us & u must haf regretted d whole issue abt marriage..i dnt blame u coz i knw whr my flaws are..at times i told myself maybe we are just unprepared for all this..probably we are not prepared for MY change..

I felt sad coz i feel dat we are drifting apart..hw i wish we cld turn back time and re-start our years again..

There are moment wen i told myself dat yes i will approve u looking for girls..im fine being d "first" wives..bt wen i think bck, im one crazy woman..i cnt share u & i cnt share my love..

I haf tght for all worse dat cld happen..i want nothing frm u bt i just want my kids..they are my life..they are my property..i owe them and i need them..u cnt take away nor anyone..

Im so helpless nw..

Yuna Umairah

She is one precious girl dat no words can describe. Born in 2008, she was already my best friend even wen she was still a foetus. I cried every night sharing stories to her abt hw hard my life was with her dad's family. I always tell her that should i die too early, i would not want her to grow up with the wrong side. I was in school wen she was just a few month in my tummy. Her "grown up" years was spent in school learning tourism. "she is one bright baby. Already learning while in mummy tummy" dats wat most of ju teacher said. School was cool with me being pregnant- well i was legally pregnant for god sake. She eat alot in my tummy dat i grew real fat after dat. My first child, i was afraid of natural birth but i still pray that we both are safe.

As months passed, her movements in my tummy became everyone favourite moments. My bil always say that there is an alien in thr..whenever her dad comes home frm work, she turn aggresive and start kicking hard. She must jumping for joy knwing her dad is coming home. I always look forward for all my scanning and wants to knw hw she is doing. Seeing her in the scan picture always makes me close to tears..
04 june 2008 morning, as i was preparing myself to my exams, d water bag burst..or shld i say leaked..rushed to kkh and was confirmed to be on labour..anyway it falls exactly on my edd..reached kkh at 7am..stayed in the labour room..soon enough 2 doctor came, poked me hard enough and i cried..den i was put (actually opted for it) epidural..after which i felt nothing at all..
At abt 5.30pm, doctor came in and say dat i was not dilating so they need to perform emergency c-section op for d best of me & her..at 1816am i heard her cries..my best friend, my baby, my girlfriend..she is here finally..

So much i hate abt you

History repeated again and again and again..like wth right..easy money come & go..u want 💰💰💰 go & fucking working lah..u think once u voice out once den 💰 come to you..kip up ar..ppl work just to give you 💰..anak borek,bapak rentik..sama lah dgn si polan tu..

Im back to blog

It has been long since i last post my blog. Nw i have two kids..yes 2 princesses dat haf color my life..yuna & yuni...life was always full of ups & dwn..

2010 was very rough year..fall out almost everyone because of a relationship between ali & lyzda..me & hubby has a rough time, quarelling & figthing most of the time..it came to a moment wen i tght dat we are not meant to be together..almost made the decision..abu & yatie close to divorce bcause of drugs..

The bright thing is dat jufri & nisa got married at last, ali found a new gf..and me nw waiting for my hdb flat..

Nw im working with singapore art museum as a pt museum service officer..aftr graduating frm tmis in feb 2011..i first got regent bt i dont like lah d environment..so the adult..im happy here so far..no complaints made yet..

Kiddos mama take care bt haiyo haf to tahan lor with her..monthly my pay half of it finish thr..pay maid, pay her, pay d kids...all pay & pay...

Hoping the best for 2011..soon it will e 2012..and im not getting younger..time to relax and enjoy being a mother of two..

Been 5 mths..

its been 5 five months since i last update my blog. got a new job..had a lot of things to share but just doesnt know where to start. many things have happened. bad ones, good ones..people come and people go..laughter, cries..oh ya and i turn 25 already..the last 13 July 2009, my gurl turn 1 too..how things have past..my marriage turns 2 years now..erm..let me do the update as one by one..

we'll see you soon again.. i prefer this simple old template..to compare to some complicated one which i dont know how to use or care fo..i love this..

I'll be back to work

this is the banner of my new working company. surprised? yup, me too. i'll be working with a travel agency. well, i guess it's time to oversome my fear. i'm starting this monday, april 6th. my daughter? well, i've enrolled her in the infant care centre @ telok blangah. this is her school banner

anyway, i've graduated from my Nitec last february. sorry didnt have time to update. i was made a valedictorian speaker. it was a emotional event, as i cried half way tru the speech. wanna see mine graduation pix? well, i've got some here. check this out

oh yup, i also received a ACADEMIC EXCELLENCE AWARD. all this thanks to all the lecturers that have faith in me. I think my success ladder starts with

and it'll never stops there. I was a HOPE SCHEME applicant and with that i;m given a $5K training grant. which i have in mind to take a diploma in tourism at

but i still aint sure yet if this is my definite course as i also have in mind a HR management diploma course but i'm not sure if i'm eligible for it. probably i'll take the course when everything seems smooth. I mean, i have someone to look after my girl at night coz i was thinking for a night classes. my husband? well, he definitely cant coz he's taking a night jib. he used to take a morning job but i told him now he cant coz i may need him to send me to work after sending my girl to the school. i was hoping that everything will be ok and hope that we are financially strong so that i can employ a maid to help me with my girl.

well, it have to be this way. i guess it's better that i'm independant as a family that has to trouble people here and there. the past few months doesnt went easy for me. just because i need someone to look after my girl. there are some who agrees but back out at the last minute and there someone who offers but i aint sure how long will it last. so to play safe, i decide to put my daughter in the centre. it's easy and it's convienient also. I'll just have to pay the school fees. I just hope that they can take good care of my girl coz she is my precious one. I've been with her for the past 2 months and trust me, to be away from her is a heart pain. I'll definitely miss her like hell but i'll always makes sure that i call on her every time i had my lunch. i'm also working for me. i want her to have the best in everything but not too pampered. i know my girl is a very good girl and she never gives people a hard time looking after her. she's the best girl in the world. (well, that's what every mom would say about their daughter)

ok lah, i gtg. i'll get in touch again soon. hopefully, i aint too lazy to keep updating..

I'm a Housewife!!!!

I'm outta job AGAIN!!!! hahaha I don't know what I'll be doing for now. Should I just sit home and babysit my dear princess yuna or shall I find a new job to help my husband stabilise with the income for the time being?

At times, I do feel tired from working but that's life. You have to work if you are a Singaporean citizen. Maybe now my heart is more to my daughter because she is still young and needs my attention.

I do have the wish to be a successful career woman and a great mother at the same time but man, that tires me to hell. I really salute the woman who has manage to go to such ladder.

Anyway, currently, I might be officially stayed in my new home:
Blk 93 Henderson Road #10-238 S(150093)
But at times, I can't just stay alone. Being alone is just too quiet since I'm used to having lots of people around me.

Erm..I'm selected to be a Valedictorian Speaker for this Graduation Ceremony that will take place on 6th Feb 08. I hope that I'm able to deliver the speech well and not get nervous..hahaha

well, till then..gotta go..sleepy already..Zzzzz